I am a girl that loves to party. I adore hanging out with friends at the local pub, tiki lounge or even the occasional dance club. But I am not the girl that likes to babysit drunks. There is a distinct difference…I am seasoned in the art of how to handle your shit and lately others are not. What happened to the days that I would go out with friends and we could all sit around chatting, drinking and just having a good time or dancing and sweating it all out? Lately two things have either happened: 1. I am no longer tolerant of blitzed individuals or 2. People are just becoming sloppier drunks.
I get drunk; I am not above it and have a fantastic time doing it. But I am also able to carry myself in a manner that someone isn’t leading me around like I am a leashed child. I know when I have had too much and it’s no longer a good idea to be out in public. I take my ass home (in a cab or on the rail), eat a veggie cheeseburger, drink 5 glasses of water, take 2 Tylenol and put myself to bed. But lately I have noticed an increase of me taking care of people who can’t handle their shit. Here are the different drunks I have encountered recently:
1. Sad, weepy drunks that feel everyone hates them when really they hate themselves for drinking that much.
2. Pukey drunks…really if you know that is what you become…seriously reconsider how much you drink.
3. Constant asking if I am angry, drunks. Yeah I pretty pissed because you have asked me if I am pissed about 20 times (in the last 15 minutes).
4. Confrontational drunks. Look I agreeing with your view on said topic why are you still yelling your points at me?
5. Lingering drunks: after you have been in the bar for 4 hours chatting and drinking when its time to go…go. Don’t linger in the parking lot drunk as shit for another hour waiting for the cops to drive by because you’re loitering.
6. Won’t go home drunks. Look the parties over so don’t assume there is an after party at my place. I am already annoyed with you so, no, you aren’t going to come over for a few more drinks.
I was at this fantastic party the other night and 1 of my friends was just wasted. I went home. Yep, its gotten that bad that I will leave a great party just so I don’t have to deal with your drunk ass. Sorry but you continue to be that person and you will continue to see less and less of me. There is a point when everyone becomes too old for that. It doesn’t mean you cant get a little drunk just handle it before you become one of the above. Do us all a favor and forgo that last drink that pushes you over the edge.
She, The Violet Octopus 